The Latest

1. We met in the waiting room of our therapist’s office. He told me that orchids symbolize death and stuck one behind my ear. I kissed him too hard and my mother asked me why the scent of liquor was hanging off all my clothes. 8 months later I left white oleanders on his grave. They’re poisonous. I think we were too.

2. He drove too fast and I played music too loud and kissed him while he drove. We were our own accident waiting to happen. We almost drowned one night when we fell into a lake in the middle of winter. When we fell in love. He left me a note telling me that being with me was like being alone. I deleted his number but kept it written down in the back of my old social studies notebook from middle school. I have called him 8 times since then.

3. God, I would’ve fucking died for him. In a few ways, I did.

4. He fucked someone else because he hated the way my scars would split open and bleed all over my clothes. I took a lot of pictures of him. They’re still in my attic. I tried to burn them once but my hair caught fire instead.

5. I never knew his middle name. He spoke in poetry and choked down cigarettes and never answered my calls. I held his hand too tightly. He would climb in my window and fall asleep next to me. I think he had nightmares most nights. My mother found out he was staying over and kicked him out. Everything stopped smelling like him. I hate it.

6. We tried to run away but we were only 16 and we weren’t allowed to buy train tickets so we took a bus but I got sick halfway and threw up my parent’s worried voicemails. He took me to some shitty motel and let me sleep while he went out to buy drugs. We went home and never saw each other again.

7. He would touch my best friend’s thigh under the table when we all went out. I pretended not to notice. He pretended to love me.

8. We wrote each other love letters and he cut my hair to my shoulders. He tasted like coffee with two packets of sugar because that’s all he drank. He was still tired all the time. I wish I could’ve woken him up. My hair is down to my waist now. I can’t remember the sound of his voice.

9. I’m not sure if I ever even loved him. I think I might’ve been so in love with him. He lived next door. Our mothers hated each other. When he was 6 he pulled the flowers out of the garden in our backyard. When we turned 17 he followed me home from school and kissed me. He would wipe away my tears when I cried. And then a new girl showed up at school and he started taking a different route home. He pulled all the flowers out of my fucking garden.

9 boys my mother warned me not to kiss  (via extrasad)

(via depresant)

Oct 19, 2014 / 19,138 notes
Oct 19, 2014 / 85,349 notes

adriandiscipulo:

De Anza College, Cupertino. 

2014

(via depresant)

1. When your friends ask you to hangout, and you don’t feel like it, don’t go. Don’t ever do things halfway or do something that makes you uncomfortable. With everything, give all of yourself, even the pieces you never knew existed.

2. It is okay to not know. Everyone always despises the phrase, “I don’t know” but no one tells you that it is okay to not know. The becoming is more important than the being, anyways.

3. If someone ever makes you feel less, in any way, you have every right to walk away. You have every right to cut out toxic people in your life. To close the door on people who make you feel bad about who you are or what you stand for. Friends don’t tear down, they build up.

4. Loss is always going to happen. Just like paint will always chip and rain will always fall, loss will always be part of life. No matter how much I don’t like it, or avoid it, it is going to walk my way at several times in my life. Learn to embrace it and learn to get closure.

5. Give yourself a chance. Stop saying, “I don’t think I can” or “But what if I am not able to?” and give yourself a chance. This may be cliche, but try to believe in yourself. When you get older, your knees won’t work the same and you won’t have the best memory, and you are going to wish you’d given yourself a chance years sooner.

6. Fall in love. Don’t be guarded before you fall in love. You could fall in love three times and still not find the right one, but none of it is going to make “the one” matter less. Don’t fall into that idea that your first love has to be your best love. Fall in love as many times as it naturally happens.

7. Firsts are going to be messy. First loves, first kisses, first dates, first failed tests, first college class, first time you drive a car, first time you ride a plane - first times were made to be imperfect. Just because it’s messy and all over the place, doesn’t mean it can’t be good or worthwhile.

8. You want another scoop of ice-cream? Go get it. Get three more scoops of ice-cream if that is what you want. “Fat” is not the opposite of beautiful and it is not the opposite of happy. Don’t let anyone tell you that your body type isn’t beautiful. Beauty is a social construct, create your own, become your own.

9. Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs to spend a good portion of their life alone. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.

10. If you aren’t happy where you are, change it. Quit your job, move, become a vegetarian, get a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, whatever you do - make sure it benefits you. Life is too short to not be alive, to not be passionate, and overflowing.

Oct 19, 2014 / 138,295 notes
Oct 19, 2014 / 308,867 notes

voldka-rain:

lemon-lark:

twentysplenty:

Pawel Kuczynski’s satirical art. Take a moment to look at these properly.

This guy is not even slightly in the area of fucking around

(via dreamliest)

daisylongmile:

“My friend is constantly fighting with her boyfriend, and he always ditches her so he can can get high and he just leaves her alone in shambles, sobbing non stop and she blames her self for everything, and refuses to break up with him. She doesn’t even realize how much pain he causing her.”
Oct 19, 2014 / 73 notes

daisylongmile:

My friend is constantly fighting with her boyfriend, and he always ditches her so he can can get high and he just leaves her alone in shambles, sobbing non stop and she blames her self for everything, and refuses to break up with him. She doesn’t even realize how much pain he causing her.”

1) do your laundry.
2) drink chamomile tea. with honey. no, don’t think about the calories,
3) get your baby photos out. and your kindergarden drawings. first grade notebooks. remember who you wanted to be back then. what’s changed?
4) watch your favorite show from when you were 11. no earphones. volume up.
5) spice girls. dance-it-out.
6) take your camera and go for a walk. take photos of people you’ll never see again. try to capture moments, smiles, real ones. how many have you got?
7) watch kids ice skate.
8) join them.
9) tell someone you miss them. mean it.
10) get your laundry out of the dryer. put your pjs on while they’re still warm.
11) hug your hot water bottle.
12) watch: before sunset.
13) you will be ok. you will get through today.
m.v.thirteen ways to make a bad day better. (via findingwordsforthoughts)
Oct 19, 2014 / 1,076 notes
Now I have conversations
with myself in poems
because I do not know
how to speak to anybody else.
Sorry For Ignoring Your Call I Forgot How To Talk, Lora Mathis  (via lora-mathis)
Oct 19, 2014 / 3,410 notes

today is the second anniversary
of the day you left him.
you were only sixteen
and got away with a
stamp on your heart
in the shape of his fist,
warning future lovers:
I am damaged goods.

when i handed you a bouquet of
wildflowers for the occasion,
you gave me a small smile,
confused as to why i would
remind you of the fields
he pinned you down in.

but wildflowers
are not intentionally planted
and your untame heart was
kicked into the soil by love
and forced to bloom.

and you have been told
that you must grow strong and proud
in whoever’s hands pluck you,
that it is not pretty to wilt.

but you are not just a box
with handled with care
taped across it
and pretty is not enough to
describe you.
you are strong,
and beautiful,
with a stamp on your heart that says:
i am a wildflower,
don’t you dare tell me where to grow.

You Are A Wildflower | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

(via lora-mathis)

Oct 19, 2014 / 1,258 notes
I don’t feel strong anymore
I feel like falling to my knees.
Things aren’t the way they were before,
They’re not the way they’re supposed to be.
Atarah L. Poling (via observando)
Oct 19, 2014 / 1,623 notes
Oct 19, 2014 / 25,251 notes